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Facebook for Fun & Phoneys

Eyerollingmom is cleaning out her Facebook house, dubbing the month De-Friend December.

So my ol’ high school hook-up recently friend-requested me on Facebook.  Funny, right?

(Hmmm.  Wouldn’t have been so amusing now if I’d started that sentence with the words “One of my…”  would it?)  Anyway, what’s even funnier was the message he sent along with it.  He wanted to see how I’m doing and find out what I’ve been up to (and I shall quote here), “since we last spoke.”

Naturally my snarky sentimental nature caused me to pause and reflect a moment before privately wondering, had we ever spoken?  I think not.

Delete.

Buh-bye.

When I first started on it, I used to be a Facebook snob. Really, I was.  I even admitted it. But then slowly I changed my tune.  Why be a hater, I thought.  Why not just spread the laughs and just live in virtual harmony with virtual people I’ll likely never see again?  It really wasn’t that big a deal.

(Actually this is all hogwash – I simply jumped on the “Facebook as a Gigantic Billboard” bandwagon and began to shamelessly plug the blog you happen to be enjoying at this exact moment.)

So while I’m not particularly proud, a blog-whore I became – and thus happily connected to any sorry soul that came calling to befriend me.

Truth: If I had a dollar for every time I’ve shrilled “Read this!” or “Check this out!” and “Would Ya Get a Load a’ this,” I’d publish my own damn book.  It’s slightly pathetic but I’m far from alone. Faaaaaaaaaaar from alone.

I actually get a big kick out of Facebook.  You can tell immediately when the Honor Roll list comes out. (My actual status on this day read, “So, if I don’t say my kids are on honor roll, is everyone just going to assume they are not?”)

It’s also a pleasure seeing who looked way too orange on Prom Night.

And (okay fine, in my case), it’s a downright Bragfest when the college acceptance letters start to arrive.

Honestly, for those of us who use it as a springboard to gags and giggles, Facebook is hilarious. 

So I do enjoy it because it makes me laugh. Some people have absolutely no idea how ridiculous and transparent they appear. Others have no idea the level of irritation their angry, cryptic rants bring.

But while I do enjoy the camaraderie of fellow snarky light-hearted posters I’ve decided to clean house this month. 

I’ve dubbed it De-Friend December.  I’m going back to my wicked ways and unloading all the invisible people who – for whatever reason – wanted to connect with me and then … vanished.

Listen, there are people who have never – not one single time – made any indication they are alive, let alone interested in me or my life.  And in the case of the high school hook-up  (yikes -- that REALLY sounds like an off-color Encyclopedia Brown story), really now, what good could come from that?  If he’s married, well that’s just suspect isn’t it?  And if he’s not, well, jeeze…  my husband just lost all that weight… I certainly can’t dump him now…

I kid, I kid.  But you know what I mean.  Want to know how I’m doing?  Read my words.  Want to know more?  Read through the archives.  I’ve been accumulating a lot of material for when Oprah comes calling.

Want to hear a few snarky comments a week?  Connect to my blog’s Facebook page.  (no really, I am begging you … LIKE the page.   LIKE THE PAGE!!!!)

You can go right to it just by clicking here:  www.facebook.com/eyerollingmom
…  and do your part to help keep the snark alive.

Thanks for tuning in !!!

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

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