This time of year, Dad is always on my mind. Sunday marked the twenty-first anniversary of his death. It was a sudden and painful loss and one that still ripples through the family. He left Mom, all five daughters in various states of marriage, and six grandchildren. The family, of course, continued to grow and all but one daughter is married off (what are you waiting for?), the grandkids total sixteen, and there are four great-grandchildren. We are all still close and luckily, we still have Mom bossing us all around. Dad was a great guy: charming, witty and not a little risqué. He was one of…
I know that some people will think I’m like a dog with a bone, but I’m a little disgusted with the fact that women are still arguing for control of our bodies and our health choices. Seriously annoyed and, quite frankly, more than a little done with the whole load of crap. I’m a smart, capable woman. My sisters are smart, capable women. As are my nieces and most of my friends are smart, capable women. I know that my daughter will be a smart, capable woman. All of us have the ability and brainpower to chart the course of our lives, including reproductive freedom up to and including the …
Like most parents, Pat and I want our kids to excel at whatever they attempt. We support their efforts with time, money, and encouragement. Several years ago, the kids transitioned from activities and events that automatically conferred a trophy or an achievement certificate on each participant to ones that require tryouts and auditions. Of course, like most parents we tell them that they’re amazing, awesome children that could give the kids of Lake Woebegon a run for their money. Encouraging them to pursue their dreams as far as they can is one of the most important things we do as parents. …
I've never been the mom that wants to freeze my kids at certain ages or leave them small forever (heaven forbid!) although every once and a while, I would like to slow down the progress of time. Just a tiny bit. Not for me, more for their benefit. Kids get, what, 12 or 13 years to be kids and the rest of their lives to be adults. The push to have them mature faster and faster is one that I can’t get behind. Childhood is a closed environment. A one-way door where once you step over the threshold, there’s no going back. Ever. So, I’m fine with my kids being a little less mature and not rushing …
I can’t remember the last resolution I made. Honestly, it’s not my thing. I don’t look back. I reminisce but I don’t dwell. Last year, on January 1, I published these words on my blog: Take me or leave me. I have felt the sting of the universe before and I'll feel it again. It won't be because of me, it will be in spite of me. I have learned how to take a cosmic punch and believe me, I will not be "resolving" to change myself. I like me. I'm sarcastic and funny and kind of mean (what, I didn't say I was perfect). And to 2011 all I can say is: take your best shot. Other years – better years – …
Columnist Barbara Mulvey-Welsh sends season's greetings.
Grief touches everyone. It is careless. It knows no boundaries. It does not care if you are rich or poor; secular or religious; young or old; gay or straight. It is indiscriminate. Yet even as it creates pain, it contains within the seeds of hope. As I mature, I find that grief and its companion, sympathy, have woven themselves into my daily life. Whether it’s a co-worker’s illness, or a friend’s divorce, a senseless accident, or a premature death, each grief has its own vocabulary. “I’m sorry”, “How terrible”, “My condolences”. The more extreme the grief, the more, to me, the words ring …
I love a good story, the longer and more involved the better. The best part of reading, for me, is being introduced to new worlds and the characters that inhabit that world. I was fourteen when I read my first horror book. It was Stephen King’s Salem's Lot and it scared the living daylights out of me, but boy, was I hooked. As I got older, my reading interests expanded and I would go on genre-benders. Mystery books, romance books, biographies, science. I’ve read most of the classics but I always come back to my favorite, fantasy/horror and King. My first love. Sigh. This past summer I …
I grew up poor. It wasn’t something I thought about, it just was. When I was old enough I knew if I wanted my life to be different, it was on me to change it. Having my own kids, I knew that I wanted a vastly different experience for them. I knew I would never be able to give them everything, but I could, and would work hard to give them more than I had. I wanted to show them that hard work and persistence matter and that school would give them the opportunity to take them wherever they wanted to go.When Dylan was young, I would surprise him with gifts and small things – a book, a train. …
Family defines you. It labels you. Daughter, niece, cousin, aunt, sister, mother, wife. I answer to them all; some I am by choice and others by birth. I consider myself lucky. So many people in this world have no family, no support. No foundation. Not me, I have more family than I need. Seriously. We have so much we should have a yard sale, although Grammy and Aunt Marie would probably just buy everyone back. That’s not a joke. You have not lived until you have yard-saled with my mother. Yes, I used it as a verb. Honestly, it could be a sit-com. I used to look at my sisters and see my youth …
It’s no great secret that I’m not really a sports fan. I’ll watch sports, especially if Dylan’s playing or Pat’s coaching. I’ll watch college football and lacrosse if it’s on at home. I’ll even watch the Patriots or the Bruins. I’ve been known to actually go to a game on occasion. In fact, Pat and I used to have season tickets to the Red Sox before we had kids. I enjoy the social aspect of sports like the drinking and the food more than the actual sports but I’ll participate and cheer loudly at the appropriate times. I do, however, draw the line at wearing the attire. In fact, should I ever …
I have a new Facebook friend, her name is Shannon and reading Shannon’s status updates made me wonder what it would be like to have her in my life all the time. Shannon is 17 and has development delays. The more of her posts I read, the more I wanted to understand what having a special needs child was really like. So I do what I do best, stick my nose in other people’s business. I asked (ok, badgered) two friends with special needs children to answer my questions and to let me write about it. Thankfully, they agreed and I’m honored to introduce you to two amazing young women. First is Bailey…
Casey’s joke about two local restaurants notwithstanding this is an important issue. So important that it already has it’s own Facebook poll and a petition demanding that Sesame Street “allow” them to marry. I guess at the end of a shotgun should they refuse. Sesame Street debuted in 1969 and while I don’t remember a time when it didn’t exist, I can’t say I really remember watching it as a kid nor did my kids watch it. Dylan didn’t like Cookie Monster (he doesn’t have a nose and that was a deal-breaker for the boy, so he watched Barney instead.) I do know that it does a tremendous job of …
Hard to believe that it’s back to school time. Those three words still have the power to make me weep. I hate to see summer end. The kids started complaining about school starting around July 17th. As they finish summer reading and the requisite reports and I start the shopping and planning, I thought it would be helpful to share some of the ways in which I was able to connect with the school administration and teachers. 1. Attend a home/school association meeting Home/school associations are run by parents for “extras”. When my kids were in elementary school our favorite "extras" were "…
On a recent vacation to New York City we took the kids to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA). I love art and believe it is important and necessary and the earlier that kids are exposed to it, the better. Luckily for my kids, I know just enough about art to make any trip to a museum into a school field trip. Can't you sense their joy? This is our third trip to New York in as many years and each time I say we’re going to the museum and then we don’t. This time I was resolute. I was going and they were coming. Not only were they coming but they were going to enjoy it! Even if it killed them! …
About a gazillion words have been written on the totally manufactured debt-ceiling crisis that recently took place. I will not be adding to them here. However, I will say that being a student of politics and a political news junkie it was a hot topic around our house. Well, it was mostly me yelling at the television and mumbling to myself. One night we took the kids to Bourne for dinner and mini-golf. During dinner, I was talking to Pat about one of the Freshman members of the House of Representatives. This gentleman asked a more senior member a question about how a bill becomes a law. Yes, …
Recently, my daughter announced to her Dad and I that the girls of Jersey Shore are her role models. That’s right. Snooki, Jwow, and someone else. After reviving Pat, we thought, ok we knew challenges were in our future and that as reasonable parents we should get to the bottom of this “episode.” I know I’m probably in the minority on this but I don’t really care what rock stars, or ball players, or other public figures do with their lives. Really. Don’t care. Mess around on your spouse, drink, whatever. Not my business. My family is my business. My responsibility. They’re not Britney Spears…
I like to tell my kids, when they’re complaining about some injustice perpetrated on them by me, that the Constitution stops at my front door. Inside my home, I am the law. Judge. Jury. Executioner. Don’t like it? Maybe you can move to Joe-hio; I hear they’re nice. Plus they have a pool. Before I go getting lectured by all you Constitutional scholars out there, save your breath. I don’t actually mean that my house is a Constitution-free zone, I mean it in regards to raising my family. There is no presumption of innocent until proven guilty. There are no hard and fast rules of due process. …
I got amazing news recently, I have been “reversed”. That means that the Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) that I was diagnosed with over two years ago has been reversed. As in, I’m as close to cured as it gets for this disease. I’m a miracle. But ya’ll already know that, right? One of the many things that I learned during my walk on the chronic illness side of life, patience. Chronic illness is funny. You can’t always tell that someone has a chronic illness just by looking at them. If you had seen me at my sickest, you’d probably just think I was a little slow-witted and out of shape. You’d …
We are not a Christian nation. There I said it. In case you missed that, I’ll say it again. WE ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN NATION. We are a nation founded by men, some of whom identified as Christian. This country was not founded for Jesus or the spreading of his gospel. It was founded on the premise that men are able to self-govern. If you want to have your faith inform your life, you have that right. You do not have the right to have it inform mine. I follow politics, closely. It’s like my sport. I’m one of those high information voters. I pay attention. I attend the arguments. I look at both sides…
